I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
