just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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