at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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