No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
oh god the rape fog is back!
thus making me awesome and them whores
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
