i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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