how can u be prego again
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize