Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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