yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
