Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
