Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
