so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
this hospital has no fireball
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
