As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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