Say something about gay babies.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
