Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize