he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
