btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
