Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
