I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
