My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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