Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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