I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize