i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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