my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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