No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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