If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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