NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize