I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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