Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
