Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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