Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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