I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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