are you so shy because you have an std?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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