So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
