His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
