whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
