you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
