2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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