You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
