i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
