just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
