Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
