2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
