i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
