Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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