So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
