i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
