yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
