i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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