Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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