dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
