please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
