I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize