There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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