remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
