so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
