hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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