Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
