I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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