No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
