Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
