...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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