Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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