i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
