his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
