Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it hurts more in the daytime
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
