I CAN MOONWALK!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
