what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize