I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So much rum. So many feels.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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