At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
