What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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