She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
