When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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