no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
